Not recoveredBoth symptoms clearactualized.org
327-actualized-primeval-dpdr-blank-mind-anhedonia
Open original source ↗“I've been Dissociated for over 13 years, non-stop, 24/7. … Having a completely blank mind is not an uncommon symptom, this means actually have no inner monologue of thoughts. There is also a lack of emotions which definitely becomes anhedonia, loss of pleasurable sensations to experiences one would normally enjoy. … The blank mind is akin to being in a really interesting conversation and having something important to say but then you lose your train of thought. Except with DP/DR and Blank Mind, one feels that "loss of train of thought" 24/7. … It feels like total disconnection with life on every level.”
- Cause
- Actualized.org first-person OP Primeval / Lha Bho (topic 9125): Depersonalization & Derealization >13y non-stop 24/7. Clear BOTH: completely blank mind / no inner monologue of thoughts + lack of emotions becoming anhedonia (loss of pleasurable sensations). Frames as 'Enlightenment's Evil Twin' not blissful. Unused Actualized DPDR BOTH (≠ dpselfhelp/longecity DP clusters). Non-Invega; non-SSRI-primary.
- Duration
- >13 years continuous at Mar 2017 posting (onset ~2003–2004 frame; practicing meditation on/off since 2003)
- Recovery notes
- Meditation (Zen, Tolle, Krishnamurti) days described as best but still substantial DP/DR suffering ('ice on the injury'). MDMA tried — good but does not exit DP/DR. Seeking way back to 'normal'/sense of self; no recovery of blank+anhedonia claimed.